004.

i am SO sick and TIRED of shitty friends.
im TIRED of being let down
im TIRED of being ditched
im TIRED of being fifth or sixth or, fuck, fiftieth best
im TIRED of everyone thinking about themselves before anyone elses feelings.

fuck, is it impossible to be a good friend?
because honestly, i don't know anymore.
i try my best and i think i do a pretty good job, but i deffinetly don't see it reflected upon myself.

ESPECIALLY when i introduce my BEST friends to people, then they get all fucking lovey dovey with them (this more than twice) and then they just end up hanging out all the time. UM, WTF, I'M STILL HERE. REMEMBER ME? YOU'RE OLD BEST FRIEND? im hella just plain tired of people in general.
people need to be more kind and giving and sympathetic and shit.

this is all probably coming from (and hopefully...)PMS. i know i feel like this all the time, but this time it's a straight outburst. i just want to walk out of my house and fight the first person i see. smash their face into the fucking ground until they bleed like crazy, then pull out every single fucking tooth from their mouth to put on a fucking chain. and honey, that's not goddamn all. i would find anything i could to jam into their skin, their skull, ANYWHERE. their armpit, FUCK I JUST WANT TO HURT SOMEONE SO GODDAMN BAD THAT THEY BEG TO STOP. godFUCKING DAMMIT IM TIRED OF BAD FUCKING FREADS. WTF IS IT REALLY THAT HARD TO THINK OF SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT??

this is where the part comes in where i think nobody cares.
and i'll tell people that i feel this and they hjust go 'oh, nononono' and everything goes out the other ear because i've heard it so many goddamn times before.

I'M SICK OF BEING DISSAPPOINTED BY THE PEOPLE I LOVE THAT I CARE ABOUT SO MUCH I WOULD DIE FOR THEM. and then they won't even take the time out of THEIR day to fucking drive from milpitas.

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.

dear world, i hope you shatter.